What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!
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