Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.
What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong? King Kong is more sensitive.
I've removed all the black keys from my piano
Hopefully I'll C Major improvement!
Why did the skeleton want to join band?
He wanted a trom-bone!
I really like guitars
They just strike a chord with me.
What instrument do English people play?
The Anglo-Saxophone!
Hear about the saxophone player who switched from a tenor to a soprano saxophone in the middle of the concert?
The press made quite a big deal out of his sax change.
Did you hear the one about the pianist convention?
They had a few keynote speakers
Egyptians claimed to have invented the guitar,
But they were such lyres.
The worst pub I’ve ever been in was called The Fiddle.
It was a vile inn.
I used to be the triangle player in a Jamaican band but I had to quit....
It was always just one ting after another.
What do you call an 80s synth pop band with a scoop of ice cream? Depeche a la Mode.
What is the musical part of a snake?
The scales.
What do you call an annoying person who plays the trumpet?
A brasshole.
What did the man do when he dropped his violin?
He quartet...
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments.
An orca-stra.
Someone once asked if I ever played the violin
I told him that I had fiddled with it.
Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff...
Badum chhh
If you suck playing the trumpet, that's probably why.
What happened when the drummer re-recorded his drum solo?
There were repercussions.
What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio? Cool Music
What did the upright bass say to the nervous guitar?
“You’re too high strung, don’t fret.”
What’s the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
One has strings and the other has strangs.
I don't usually brag about my drum jokes but um...
tss
Musicians?
Oh yeah, we think outside the Bach’s.
Have you heard of the band 1023MB?
They haven't got a gig yet.
Name a rock group where none of the members sings or plays music.
Mt. Rushmore!
A classical musician bought a Stradivari violin
Now he is quite Baroque.
What's an owl's favorite rock band?
The Who
What sound drum set from the junkyard makes?
Ba-dump-tss
I've recently started up a band called "Mum's The Word."
If anyone asks, you've not seen us.
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
How do you tell the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
What was stolen from the music store? The lute.
A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar.
I replied, “Is that a fret?”
Our church band is just two ladies on percussion...
It’s quite the CoNunDrum
What do you call a communist violin?
The second Fidel.
I should change my name to Billy and get a job as a radio show presenter.
Then I can finally be a Billy-on-air.
What’s an avocado’s favorite music?
Guac ‘n’ roll.
What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell.
What do you call it when a musical group provides assistance?
Band aid.
What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist’s arm?
A tattoo.
Why was the square dance fiddler arrested for smuggling?
Because of his contra band...
What instrument do English people play?
The Anglo-Saxophone!
You know those silly hacker movies where they're hacking so hard they type on two keyboards at once?
Such blatant stereo-typing
Remember the band that did that rock cover of “walk like an Egyptian’ by The Bangles?
Pharaohsmith.
I was supposed to play the trumpet
But I blew it.
I told the person who was playing my trumpet,
To stop pushing my buttons.
What musical group do men join once they get married?
The Hus Band!
What did the phone say to the radio when they met for a date?
This is AUXhilarating
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