My dad just told be a cool joke about drums
I thought I’d snare it with you guys
Musicians?
Oh yeah, we think outside the Bach’s.
I bought an old stereo.
My wife has her doubts, but I think it's a sound investment.
Asked a pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?"
What did the man do when he dropped his violin?
He quartet...
I had to borrow my friend’s trumpet because I sounded too good on my own, and people would be jealous!
I didn’t want to toot my own horn.
Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
What sound drum set from the junkyard makes?
Ba-dump-tss
What do you call a distilled botanical that likes to play the guitar??
Ginny Hendrix
I used to play triangle in a reggae band but I had to give it up. It was just one ting after another.
I don't usually brag about my drum jokes but um...
tss
I told the person who was playing my trumpet,
To stop pushing my buttons.
What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married?
Feyonce.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
Did you know Rolf Harris was a talented violinist as a child?
Yeah, he was a mean kiddie fiddler.
Being a soprano is a great opera tunity.
My uncle was crushed by a piano...
His funeral was very low key.
What's worse than a SPIDER on your PIANO?
CRAB on your ORGAN.
Violinist Caught following a String of Robberies.
What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell.
The ad said "Free Violin", but there were strings attached...
What do you call a fishing boat with a great stereo?
bass boat.
I was supposed to play the trumpet
But I blew it.
What is Jehovah's witness' favorite band? The Doors.
A woman is on trial for beating her significant other with a guitar. “First offender?” the judge asked.
“No” she replied. “First a Gibson , then a Fender”.
The worst pub I’ve ever been in was called The Fiddle.
It was a vile inn.
What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
How do you tell the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
My friend told me all about his friend's girlfriend who was playing saxophone.
Apparently she was a saxy lady.
A piano player got arrested at a wedding...
He was trying to root the relatives.
Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff...
Badum chhh
How do you fix a broken tuba?
With a tuba glue.
Newscaster Dad: And now, here is John with the weather.
Weatherman: It’s Jim, actually.
Newscaster: My apologies. Here’s John with the Jim.
Why do bagpipe players walk while they play?
To get away from the noise.
I've recently started up a band called "Mum's The Word."
If anyone asks, you've not seen us.
What do you call a owl dance party that only plays folk music?
A hootenanny.
I've removed all the black keys from my piano
Hopefully I'll C Major improvement!
Why did the skeleton want to join band?
He wanted a trom-bone!
What was Beethoven’s favourite fruit?
BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA... BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA...
Shopping at the music store, my friend had to settle for a fiver saxophone ...
They couldn't afford a tenor.
What did the trumpet pharaoh do when his girlfriend told him to pull out?
Toot and come in.
What is a pianist’s favorite cheese ?
Mozzartrella.
What did the LEFT Stereo Speaker say to the RIGHT, as he was being taken away for repairs
AUDIOS!
How are pirates like trumpets?
They murder the high C’s!
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments.
An orca-stra.
I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80's bands.
There is no cure.
What do you do to a female news anchor who breaks a leg?
You put her in a broadcast.
What do you call a Pharaoh playing a trumpet?
Tooting’khamun
How many conductors does it take to change a lightbulb?
Nobody knows because no-one ever watches the conductor.
What’s a golf clubs favorite type of music?
Swing.
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