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One thing you never want to do is divorce a butcher.
That would be a huge missed steak.
You are the coffee to my espresso and I love you a latte.
What did one leaf say to the other leaf?
I’ve fallen for you.
When girls say they want a guy who can sweep them off their feet...
they do know that there’s a janitor ready for the job, right?
"I lava you."
Why is it always easy for vampires to find their better halves?
Because it’s always love at first bite.
If you really want to get a date at a restaurant, it’s always nice to cut to the cheese.
Never laugh at your spouse’s choice… You’re one of them.
Are you a beaver? ‘Cause dam.
I cannoli be happy
Why are volcanos so nice?
They lava you.
Being in love is a lot like central heating in your home.
You turn it on just before your guests come over and pretend that your house is always like this.
What do you get when you kiss a diseased bird?
Cherpies, but don't worry.
It's tweetable.
You are just like my car because you drive me crazy.
"I'm nuts about you."
I told my wife to embrace her mistakes
So she gave me a hug!!!
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever ?
I like you sow much.
Why were the melon lovers sad?
Because they cantaloupe.
Why did Larry the lizard leave his lover longing?
he had ... a reptile dysfunction
I think you’re incredi-bowl.
Why do accountants make good lovers?
They're great with figures.
What do you say when you find the perfect font?
You’re just my type!
I scored when I met you.
What is a dairy product like as a partner?
They’re your butter half.
Let’s spend some koala-ty time together.
You’re my #1 pick.
You met all of my koala-fications
What do German meat lovers breathe?
Hamburg-air
What sound do hedgehogs make when they kiss?
Ouch
You are in my heart, my mind, and in my entire body.
In fact, my doctor says that you must be a parasite!
Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
I always have a ball with you.
What’s it like to kiss a vampire?
A real pain in the neck!
My son fell asleep last night with the TV clicker in his hand.
He’s really embraced remote learning.
Their romance started by candlelight.
But it only lasted a wick.
You know, I didn't kiss my wife until I was married...
because she wasn't my wife until we were married.
I love you deerly.
Why should you never break up with a goalie?
Because he is a keeper!
Did you hear Harry’s girlfriend left him for Keith?
Yeah, she was always telling the poor guy to Harry up, turns out she found someone who could Keith better.
You’re right up my alley.
Being uncomfortable with any physical contact, I decided to rent the book “How to Hug” from the library.
Turns out it was Volume 6 of an old encyclopedia.
We bee-long together.
Your love will always be up to par.
What’s green and mean and stabs you when you hug it?
Cactus
I whale always love you.
How do you get a teddy bear across the border?
You snuggle it across.
Which sea creature gives the best hugs?
A cuttlefish
You’re turtle-ly awesome.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you! and I want the whole world to know it.