We’ve all heard of the mushroom who gets invited to the party cause he’s a fungi, but what about the mushroom who stole all the halloween candy?
He had no morrels.
Orange you excited for Halloween?
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
What do mummies like listening to on Halloween? Wrap music!
I let my kids pick my Halloween costume this year. They chose a hot dog...
... this is going to be my wurst Halloween ever.
Ghosts make the best cheerleaders. They have lots of spirit!
“Halloween” = an excuse for girls to dress up like sluts.
No matter what costumes they wear, when the Halloween candy comes out, everyone is a goblin!
Don’t be a jerk-o-lantern this Halloween — share your candy!
“I found this humerus” is the perfect Halloween pun for boneheads.
This Halloween I was planning to go as a band aid, but decided against it.
It’s really hard to pull off.
What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us
Why do skeleton's make such good comedians? They have so many funny bones.
What do birds give out on Halloween?
Tweets.
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
I'm going to need to exorcise a lot after all this Halloween candy.
I dressed up as a jousting lance for Halloween, but nobody got it.
I thought it was pretty straight forward.
I didn’t want to play it safe with a skeleton costume, I want people to know I have guts.
What do Italians eat on Halloween?
Fettuccine Afraid-O
What do you call Jack-O-Lantern cousins who lift weights together?
Pump Kins
How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin!
Are any of the Halloween Monsters good at math?
Only if you Count Dracula.
My dad has been making Halloween related puns all morning
He's now asking that I call him the Halloween Pun King.
Who did Dracula take to the school dance? His ghoul friend.
I was a bit worried about making breakfast on Halloween
But I ain't afraid of no toast.
What does a placebo say on Halloween?
“Trick or Treatment!”
I need a new Halloween costume. I’m thinking of going as an evil nun.
Do I really need another bad habit?
Did you guys hear about the airplane that dressed up for Halloween?
It was in disguise.
On Halloween, I will be wearing a normal everyday T-Shirt
I'll be going as a Casualty
What is a jack o lantern's favorite pick up line?
"Darling, you look GOURD-EOUS!!"
I told everyone that I’m going as a zombie character from Harry Potter this Halloween, but no one believes me.
I’m dead Sirius.
Halloween Math
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o'-lantern by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.
What's the best part about the end of Halloween?
Putting the skeletons back in the closet!
What’s a monsters favorite desert? I-Scream!
Jehovahs witnesses don’t celebrate halloween
I guess they don’t appreciate random people coming to their door
What did the Turkey do on Halloween?
He was a goblin
My friend wanted me to take care of his extremely fragile pumpkin. I told him I'd gourd it with my life!
I don't trust pumpkins. They're seedy.
What did Dracula say when the witch and the warlock started kissing?" "Get a broom!
I dressed up as bacon for halloween.
To say the least, i was looking pretty CRISP.
Why was the Jack-o-Lantern sad on Halloween?
Because he felt empty inside.
Went to church on Halloween
Turned out to be a blessing in disguise
My Haloween costume would have been perfect if my hair agreed with me. Guess I’m just having a bad scare day.
What do you say when you're having dinner with a skeleton? Bone appetit!
Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man!
Although he seems happy and bright, the jack-o-lantern was so sad on Halloween because he’s hollow inside.
The record store owner needed to get the albums by a Canadian band with Neil Pert on drums out on sale before Halloween...
So he put in a Rush order!
Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!
I bought a pumpkin for Halloween but it was broken
So i had to get a pumpkin patch.
Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!
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