My pet raven, Poe, started coughing... thought it was Corvid-19, but then the bird flu away. Think I will see him nevermore.
What do you call a group of whale musicians?
An orca-stra.
What's green and dangerous?
A frog with a hand-grenade.
What kind of dog keeps everything they own?
A hoarder collie.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
My sister asked me for some spider puns.
I told her to look them up on the web.
What happened when the two giraffes had a race?
It was neck and neck.
Goat milk?
Did you guys know that dolphins attack seals for sport?
It's almost like they do it on porpoise.
What do you call a group of crows who see food?
A tempted murder.
What kind of aquatic animal thinks you did a good job?
The seal of approval.
What hotel do mice stay in ? The Stilton
What do you call two crows flying together?
An attempted murder
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
What do you call a bunny who was raised in a hotel? An inn-grown hare.
Overheard on a bus... What do you call a social hermit crab?
Just a crab.
Flamingos are great at social events; they flamingle really well.
What do rodents say when they play bingo? 'Eyes down for a full mouse'!
Q: Which U.S. state do tigers like the most?
A: Maine.
What type of dog does Dracula have?
A bloodhound.
Why do bee keepers have beautiful eyes?
Because they hold bees. (Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder)
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
What do you call a wasp who is having a bad hair day?
A frizz-bee
Two snakes parted.
The first one said, “Fangs for the memories”.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
What's a frog's favorite game?
Hop-scotch (or leapfrog).
What do you call it when a giraffe swallows a toy jet?
A plane in the neck.
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
How did the koala bear get the high-paying job? He met all of the koalafications.
Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
Some marine biologists argued about how best to handle angry dolphins.
The were working at cross porpoises.
What's a frog's favorite flower?
A croakus.
What does a deer do when it gets to its friend’s house?
Rings the deer bell.
Crows go, listen, perform, and enjoy live music, at cawnsorts.
Why do dogs hate computers?
They can’t stick their heads out of those Windows.
What did the Easter Bunny say to its partner? We make one egg-celllent couple.
Flamingo parents are really cute with their babies. You should see them playing Beak a Boo.
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
Why do you never see koalas wearing shoes? Because they love going bearfoot.
Did you hear about the panda that had a slight stutter?
Seems it’s a story that bears repeating.
A spider saw a car he liked at the dealership and decided to take it out for a spin.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
I asked a panda if he was my friend.
He said, “Just bearly”.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
What kind of bird always gets stuck in the nest? A velcrow.
Did you hear about the crocodile who was unable to mate?
He had a reptile dysfunction.