Why did the rooster cross the road?
He heard there were some hot chicks on the other side.
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
Why don’t chickens wear pants?
Their peckers are on their face.
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
I ate an omelette for breakfast…
but I’m still feeling peckish.
What happened to the baby chicken that misbehaved at school?
It was egg-spelled.
What do you get when you cross a ghost with a chicken?
A poultry-geist.
When do chickens go to bed?
Half past hen!
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again?
A dirty double-crossing chicken.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
What kind tree grows chickens?
Poultry.
When the farmer died, all his chickens were sold to the highest bidder.
They would have preferred to stay on the farm, but auctions speak louder than birds.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck.
Why did the chicken go to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell?
An alarm cluck.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
Is chicken soup good for your health?
Not if you’re the chicken.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Martian?
An eggs-traterrestrial.
I don't agree with battery hens.
Surely they'd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
Hen-durance.
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
What kind of tree does a chicken come from?
A poul-tree.
The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances.
The police suspect fowl play.
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm?
An alarm cluck.
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
I have no idea how to raise chickens.
I think I’ll just wing it.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.