A worm child comes home. It sees mom and asks: "Mom, have you seen dad?"
Mom says: "Dad went fishing with the guys."
What is a worm's favorite band? Mud.
What does a bookworm do during a baseball game? Worm the bench.
Did you hear about the two silk worms in a race?
It ended in a tie.
When fishing, is there ever a good reason to take the worm off the hook?
I guess that’s debaitable.
What is the maggot army called? The Apple Corps.
How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? it has a blue light.
Why did the worm leave the Apple?
Because Noah said to travel in pairs
How can you tell which end of a worm is which? Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs.
Why are worms so easy to get along with?
Because they are always down to Earth.
What do you call it when evil worms take over the world?
Global Worming!
How do worms measure their length?
They ask a tape worm to help out!
What do you call two worms in love?
Soilmates.
What did one glow worm said to the other one?
You glow girl!
What reads and lives in an apple? A bookworm.
What did the woodworm say to the chair?
It's been nice gnawing you.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tell it a funny Halloween joke and see which end laughs!
I felt so guilty after I stepped on that worm this morning. You should have seen it, it looked genuinely crushed.
Why did the Archaeopteryx get the most worms?
Because he was an early bird.
What did the maggot say to another?
What's a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this?
What makes a glow worm glow?
A light meal!
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail and it will be de-lighted.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with a python? A 15 foot strip light that can strangle you to death.
What happens when a Mexican gets to the worm? He passes out.
Why are glow worms good to carry in your Halloween bag?
They can lighten your load!
I'm going to start a business selling worms and Nintendo consoles
I'll call it "Bait and Switch."
Why do worms have trouble getting up in the morning? Because the early bird catches the worm.
What’s a snow princess’s glow worm’s favourite song?
Let it Glow, Let it Glow!
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs!
Why do worms taste like chewing gum?
Because they’re wrigleys!
What happens when fish start an addiction to worms?
They get hooked.
What did the worm say to his friend when he got stuck in pumpkin?
Worm your way out of that one!
How do you make a glow worm happy?
Cut off his tail, he’ll be de-lighted!
Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag? They can lighten your load.
What do worms leave round their baths? The scum of the earth.
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off his tail, he'll be de-lighted.
What do worms leave round their baths?
The scum of the earth!
What’s a glow worms favourite song?
Wake me up before you glow glow!
What kind of fish do you catch with Gummy Worms?
Swedish Fish.
How many worms does it take to eat a zombie?
It depends on the size of the zombie!
What does a turtle do during winter? Sit by the fire and worm himself up.
Hit the hammer that judges have and says “worm court is in session”. Then says
“All writhe”
Did you hear about the kid that ate a whole pack of candy worms?
It’s a sour tale!
My wife asked why I prefer gummy bears to gummy worms.
I said that gummy worms are beneath me.
Why was the scarecrow upset with the worm?
It was going ear to ear in the corn field!
How do you know you have a tape worm?
It’s comming out of your belly!
I love eating glow worms
Especially as a light snack
What's invisible and smells like worms?
Bird farts.
Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go on in pairs.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?
Light ale!