My wife asked why I prefer gummy bears to gummy worms.
I said that gummy worms are beneath me.
What's invisible and smells like worms?
Bird farts.
Why do worms have trouble getting up in the morning? Because the early bird catches the worm.
What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant? Very big worm holes in your garden.
How do you make a glow worm happy?
Cut off his tail, he’ll be de-lighted!
What happens when fish start an addiction to worms?
They get hooked.
I felt so guilty after I stepped on that worm this morning. You should have seen it, it looked genuinely crushed.
Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go on in pairs.
Did you hear about the kid that ate a whole pack of candy worms?
It’s a sour tale!
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat? A dirty kid.
Why are worms so easy to get along with?
Because they are always down to Earth.
How do worms measure their length?
They ask a tape worm to help out!
How many worms does it take to eat a zombie?
It depends on the size of the zombie!
How do you know you have a tape worm?
It’s comming out of your belly!
A worm child comes home. It sees mom and asks: "Mom, have you seen dad?"
Mom says: "Dad went fishing with the guys."
I hate worms and snakes because they have no feet.
You might say that I am lacktoes intolerant.
What kind of computer does a worm have? A Macintosh.
What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming.
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off his tail, he'll be de-lighted.
What is the maggot army called? The Apple Corps.
What happens when a Mexican gets to the worm? He passes out.
What kind of fish do you catch with Gummy Worms?
Swedish Fish.
I love eating glow worms
Especially as a light snack
Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag? They can lighten your load.
What was the worm doing in the cornfield?
He was going in one ear and out the other!
Why did the worm cross the playground?
To get to the underground slide!
Why do worms taste like chewing gum?
Because they’re wrigleys!
What do worms leave round their baths?
The scum of the earth!
What did the worm say to the other when he was late home? Where in earth have you been.
What does a turtle do during winter? Sit by the fire and worm himself up.
What do you call it when evil worms take over the world?
Global Worming!
Why did the Archaeopteryx get the most worms?
Because he was an early bird.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?
Light ale!
What do you call two worms in love?
Soilmates.
Why is earth worm humor offensive?
They only know dirty jokes.
Why do worms hate graveyards?
They keep bumping into skeletons!
What reads and lives in an apple? A bookworm.
What makes a glow worm glow?
A light meal!
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