Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
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