The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
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