I tried driving a truck with a trailer that was attached without using the proper equipment.
It went off without a hitch.
Two trucks – one carrying strawberries and one carrying sugar – crashed. Drivers didn’t stop, and now the jam is getting thicker.
What is the car dealership in Star Wars called?
The Mazda-lorian
My partner has been having nightmares that he’s a truck. He always wakes up tyred and exhaust-ed.
Tesla just announced they’ll be including a bottle of their new cologne now with every car sold
It’s called Elon’s Musk
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
A slat spreading truck knocked me off my bike last year. I yelled “You idiot!” through gritted teeth.
What is a car’s preferred TV program?
The Driving Dead.
How do eels travel across the seafloor? By Octo-bus.
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
Which films is the car’s favourite?
WiperBlade 1, 2 and Trinity.
There’s only one thing in the truck world that is bigger than a tow truck, and that’s a foot truck.
I avoid bike trails after dark. They are full of cycle paths.
Is the city bus running on time? No, it’s running on diesel.
What do cars have on toast.
Butter and traffic jam.
How do you sink a submarine full of fools?
You knock on the door.
The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
We get fed up of long car journeys...
...meanwhile, truck drivers get fed ex.
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
Bus ticket inspectors: You’ve really got to hand it to them.
What is a car’s favourite job?
Caretaker.
I heard that a truck carrying Scrabble tiles has just overturned… Well, that’s the word on the street, anyway.
What color are military submarines?
Deep navy
How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?
It goes very deep
Why should you be cautious of a Finnish submarine captain?
He’ll sink ye.
How to spot the best mechanic?
The brightest bulb.
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?
It caused a title wave!
What do you call a bus full of smart people?
A Scholarship
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
What do you call a truck towing a smaller truck?
A mother trucker
What do they play at the beginning of a car movie?
The trailer.
What do the Scottish cars wear as hats?
Flat-caps.
What do you call it when a truck of tortoises crashes into an aquarium?
A turtle disaster.
Why did the bus driver eat a burger? He wanted to 'bus-t' his energy!
What do you call a square that got into a car accident?
A rect-angle
How does a flower propel a bicycle?
It petals!
How do you know a car is a good price?
If it is a Ford-able.
My sister bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti
You should have seen her face as I drove Pasta
Unbelievably there was yet another truck crash, this time it was carrying Vicks VapoRub. There was no congestion for the rest of the day.
What’s the hardest part about working as a bus driver? Everyone’s talking behind your back.
I was gonna make some car puns...
but I ran out of gas.
My Dad drove a truck for 32 years.
He was terrible with directions.
If a police officer pulls a U-Haul truck over...
did he just bust a move?
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus
A truck carrying Lego got into an accident on the motorway. No one knows what happened; the authorities are still trying to piece everything together.
I have a buddy who was recently hit by a bus, while promoting pedestrian safety.The surgeons had to replace all the joints in his left leg with metal.
I think it's safe to say he can appreciate the iron knee
Why do you only drive automatics?
‘I could never find a manual.’
My brother has been riding a bicycle since he was 4 years old
Damn he must be very far away by now
It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25. You know why?
Inflation.
Why did the bus stop in the middle of the street? It saw a zebra crossing.