How can you tell if a car is from Switzerland?
It remains in neutral.
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck...
It was a camel tow
A slat spreading truck knocked me off my bike last year. I yelled “You idiot!” through gritted teeth.
In this day and age of technological breakthroughs, we surely can’t be far from a country song where a guy’s self-driving truck leaves him too.
Is the city bus running on time? No, it’s running on diesel.
Who should drive home out of the two friends?
The one who is not tired.
Why do you only drive automatics?
‘I could never find a manual.’
My Dad drove a truck for 32 years.
He was terrible with directions.
In Mexico, truck drivers always keep a wheel of cheese in their cabs. Apparently this is in queso emergencies.
BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board
Whoops, wrong sub.
How did cars walk on to Noah’s Ark?
4X4.
Why didn't the bicycle want to go anywhere?
It was two tired.
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
A truck full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
whoops wrong sub
Did you hear about the submarine industry?
It really took a dive...
Why did the bus driver take a break? He needed to 'stop' and refuel!
My partner has been having nightmares that he’s a truck. He always wakes up tyred and exhaust-ed.
What is a car’s favourite bug?
A beetle.
What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
A silent man walked into a bicycle shop...
He picked up a wheel and spoke.
My sister bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti
You should have seen her face as I drove Pasta
Why did the bus driver eat a burger? He wanted to 'bus-t' his energy!
Which car do sheep drive?
Su-baa-ru.
I heard someone complain about the bus being too crowded, it was a 'bus-load' of people!
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
There’s only one thing in the truck world that is bigger than a tow truck, and that’s a foot truck.
If you ride your bike twice a day, is that recycling?
I hopped on the bus yesterday afternoon. After a few minutes, the driver asked me to sit down like everyone else
How is the submarine doing at school?
It's below c-level
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
What do you call a guy who only rides children's bicycles?
A pedalphile
What the motto of a Boy Scout who got a badge for fixing a bicycle horn?
Beep Repaired!
What color are military submarines?
Deep navy
What is a car’s preferred mobile phone brand?
No-Kia.
What do you call a drunk person fumbling with their car keys?
A taxi
How does a car tell you to get out?
‘Get out, or I shall give you the boot.’
How do you impregnate a submarine?
Fill it with seamen.
What do they play at the beginning of a car movie?
The trailer.
What do you call a murder where the perp runs away on a bicycle?
A drive bike shooting
What made the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.
I was driving along the motorway one day when a truck in front of me shed its load of cabbage. Never slaw that coming.
Another truck crashed further down the road; this one was carrying wigs. The police are combing the area.
Why did the bus driver quit his job? It was driving him mad.
I’ve always been a trucker, but recently I applied for a job at Microsoft. I’ve heard they’re always looking for more drivers.
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