What do you call a bus full of smart people?
A Scholarship
What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
Why did the larger car go first?
It had the right of weigh.
We get fed up of long car journeys...
...meanwhile, truck drivers get fed ex.
Why was the bus musician so excited? He just got a 'ride-ing' ovation!
What is a car’s favourite job?
Caretaker.
How do eels travel across the seafloor? By Octo-bus.
What is a car’s favourite element?
Carbon.
Which Hollywood actor can tell his car's odometer reading without looking at it?
Miles Teller
Car puns are really tiring
Why did the bus driver stay out all night? He was 'driving' around town!
Is the city bus running on time? No, it’s running on diesel.
What title did the car have in the Navy?
Rear window Admiral.
Why did the bus driver take a break? He needed to 'stop' and refuel!
What is the preferred shampoo brand of truck drivers?
Lorry-el
Why don’t cars enjoy long drives?
They find them a drag.
I banged my bike against the wall today. it was wheelie unfortunate.
A truck carrying Lego got into an accident on the motorway. No one knows what happened; the authorities are still trying to piece everything together.
A man is wanted for stealing tires off of cop cars.
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
I was gonna make some car puns...
but I ran out of gas.
Why did the bus driver eat a burger? He wanted to 'bus-t' his energy!
How did cars walk on to Noah’s Ark?
4X4.
I hit a crow in my truck one day, and it flew into the next lane and landed on a police car. I was ticketed for flipping the officer the bird.
Officer: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck.”
Me: ”Yeah I know, but she’s got a great personality though!”
I once had my identity stolen by a cement truck driver. It took me ages to track him down, but now I have concrete evidence.
My race time today was much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.
What is the collective noun for cars?
Pack of cars.
What do cars play at the weekend?
Golf.
The bus driver was so friendly and nice, it was a 'joy ride'!
A car company tried to make a submarine, but it kept surfacing too quickley
The crew got the Mercedes-Bends
Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,
it doesn't Go Straight.
Where do bus drivers eat their lunches? In a traffic jam.
Truck drivers have a great way of settling disputes – they only use their horns. It’s known as a fight to the deaf.
What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
What did the teacher say when he could not get into his car?
‘Oh no, I have lost my Kias!’
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck...
It was a camel tow
How do you spot a car made by Apple?
It does not have Windows.
What should you wear before driving?
The correct gear.
What superhero takes public transportation to get around? Bus Lightyear.
How to tell a car it has gained weight?
‘You have got Fiat.’
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus
Who should drive home out of the two friends?
The one who is not tired.
What is a car’s favourite movie character?
Aerial from The Little Mermaid.
I saw a sign on the bus the other day.
It said "please give this seat to the elderly."
So I ripped it out and took it home for my grandad
What do you call a guy who only rides children's bicycles?
A pedalphile
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
whoops wrong sub
Which films is the car’s favourite?
WiperBlade 1, 2 and Trinity.
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