Which films is the car’s favourite?
WiperBlade 1, 2 and Trinity.
My brother has been riding a bicycle since he was 4 years old
Damn he must be very far away by now
What is a con artist's truck towed with?
A pickup line
Passenger: One ticket to New York, please.
Bus Driver: By way of Buffalo?
Passenger: No, by bus!
Another truck crashed further down the road; this one was carrying wigs. The police are combing the area.
Which Hollywood actor can tell his car's odometer reading without looking at it?
Miles Teller
Read a story about two people who stole cars driving into each other.
Must have been Bonnie and Collide
What happens when a frogs car breaks down?
It has to be toad away.
What is the collective noun for cars?
Pack of cars.
What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.
I was midway between the bow and the stern of my 120 foot yacht when suddenly I was surrounded by submarines that just surfaced...
I was amidship man.
What do you call a dog in a submarine?
A subwoofer.
Honda is oldest car make in the world. It was mentioned in the bible!
"And the apostles were all in Accord"
What made the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.
Why did the bus driver quit his job? It was driving him mad.
Why is it so expensive to run a submarine?
It's the depth charges.
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
Truck drivers have a great way of settling disputes – they only use their horns. It’s known as a fight to the deaf.
Mum said I would never be able to make a bicycle out of spaghetti
Well I did, and you should’ve seen her face when I rode pasta
How did cars walk on to Noah’s Ark?
4X4.
What should you do if a car is annoying you.
Give the car a head rest.
I knew a submarine sailor who wasn't very talkative or energetic
He was a subdued sub dude.
I heard someone complain about the bus being too crowded, it was a 'bus-load' of people!
I saw a documentary today about a submarine that recycles 87% of its garbage.
But I believe this sub's doing even better!
Do you know why the U.S. Navy always keeps at least two canaries on board each of their submarines?
Because everyone knows that if you have a big sub you also need a good set of tweeters.
My trucker friend was super excited about his new house. I asked him why, and he told me it had a really long haul way.
A truck full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
I heard that a truck carrying Scrabble tiles has just overturned… Well, that’s the word on the street, anyway.
Why did the submarine driver lose his job
Old, racist tweets resurfaced
How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?
It goes very deep
My wife said she saved $5 by not taking a bus and walking home
I said, you could've saved a $20 by not taking a cab instead
What do French cars wear as hats?
Bonnets.
BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board
Whoops, wrong sub.
How do you impregnate a submarine?
Fill it with seamen.
55. How do you tell a car you are supporting it?
‘We are routing for you!’
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
Why did the bus driver take a break? He needed to 'stop' and refuel!
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn’t find a manual.
If a police officer pulls a U-Haul truck over...
did he just bust a move?
I got fired from my job as a submarine pilot.
I just don't get it. My performance reviews always said my work was sub-standard.
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck...
It was a camel tow
Why did the larger car go first?
It had the right of weigh.
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
I tried to make a wooden submarine.
It didn't go down so well.
A truck carrying Lego got into an accident on the motorway. No one knows what happened; the authorities are still trying to piece everything together.
The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
My race time today was much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.
When I asked the bus driver for directions, it was a 'bus stop' service!
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