Who should drive home out of the two friends?
The one who is not tired.
did you hear the one about the sheep in car wreck?
it was baaad.
What is a car’s favourite film?
Taxi.
How do you spot a car made by Apple?
It does not have Windows.
What do cars have on toast.
Butter and traffic jam.
I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn’t find a manual.
Which car does the Mensa student drive?
A Smart car.
My sister bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti
You should have seen her face as I drove Pasta
I'm gonna quit my job on a submarine
I'm under a lot of pressure
What is a con artist's truck towed with?
A pickup line
What is a car’s favourite sport?
Soc-car.
My trucker friend was super excited about his new house. I asked him why, and he told me it had a really long haul way.
I was driving along the motorway one day when a truck in front of me shed its load of cabbage. Never slaw that coming.
What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
Mum said I would never be able to make a bicycle out of spaghetti
Well I did, and you should’ve seen her face when I rode pasta
What is a car’s preferred mobile phone brand?
No-Kia.
How does a car tell you to get out?
‘Get out, or I shall give you the boot.’
The local motorway has become blocked after a truck shed it's load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes.
Police say the traffic is pretty stationery...
How do you sink a submarine full of fools?
You knock on the door.
It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
Why can't buses make friends? Because they only pick up strangers!
What title did the car have in the Navy?
Rear window Admiral.
What is a car’s favourite band?
Van Halen.
While I was riding my bike, there was a big tropical storm. I decided to cyclone.
What do you call a guy who only rides children's bicycles?
A pedalphile
Truck drivers have a great way of settling disputes – they only use their horns. It’s known as a fight to the deaf.
Why did the submarine driver lose his job
Old, racist tweets resurfaced
Passenger: One ticket to New York, please.
Bus Driver: By way of Buffalo?
Passenger: No, by bus!
A truck full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
I have a question for people who take the bus...
Are you supposed to give it back?
I heard someone complain about the bus being too crowded, it was a 'bus-load' of people!
Driving a truck carrying cutlery is easy – as soon as you see the fork in the road, you know you’re there.
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.
How did cars protect themselves during the medieval age?
They would dig an M.O.T. around them.
I tried driving a truck with a trailer that was attached without using the proper equipment.
It went off without a hitch.
We get fed up of long car journeys...
...meanwhile, truck drivers get fed ex.
I told my boyfriend I'd missed the bus.
He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.
Today was a terrible day. First my ex got hit by a bus.
Then I lost my job as a driver.
How to cars convince you?
By telling you that ‘you Audi-believe it.’
I have to pay for a bus ticket?
I guess it's only fare
Bro, are you a submarine?
Because you're so gnar.
What should you wear before driving?
The correct gear.
In this day and age of technological breakthroughs, we surely can’t be far from a country song where a guy’s self-driving truck leaves him too.
Why did the bus driver go to jail? He was 'wheely' breaking the law!
I banged my bike against the wall today. it was wheelie unfortunate.
I’ve always been a trucker, but recently I applied for a job at Microsoft. I’ve heard they’re always looking for more drivers.
Why don’t cars enjoy long drives?
They find them a drag.
Why are cars so cheeky?
Because they are fuel of it.
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