Driving a truck carrying cutlery is easy – as soon as you see the fork in the road, you know you’re there.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was 2-tired.
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
What’s the hardest part about working as a bus driver? Everyone’s talking behind your back.
What is the car dealership in Star Wars called?
The Mazda-lorian
Why should you be cautious of a Finnish submarine captain?
He’ll sink ye.
How did cars protect themselves during the medieval age?
They would dig an M.O.T. around them.
Ice cream trucks are pretty hardy, but they will break down if they drive over the rocky road.
What is a car’s favourite band?
Van Halen.
What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
Why did the bus driver laugh? He was having a 'wheely' good time!
Officer: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck.”
Me: ”Yeah I know, but she’s got a great personality though!”
We get fed up of long car journeys...
...meanwhile, truck drivers get fed ex.
How to cars convince you?
By telling you that ‘you Audi-believe it.’
I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.
What do they play at the beginning of a car movie?
The trailer.
I’m trying to teach my son how to put the chain back on his bike but he still can’t seem to do it.
I guess it must be sprocket science.
The navy is now taking dogs along on their submarines
They're subwoofers
My kid’s toy submarine was having trouble staying under water...
I hope this will not surface again
Two trucks – one carrying strawberries and one carrying sugar – crashed. Drivers didn’t stop, and now the jam is getting thicker.
Why did the bus driver stay out all night? He was 'driving' around town!
Why did the bus driver take a long break? He needed a wheel-y good rest!
What do the Scottish cars wear as hats?
Flat-caps.
Mum said I would never be able to make a bicycle out of spaghetti
Well I did, and you should’ve seen her face when I rode pasta
Unbelievably there was yet another truck crash, this time it was carrying Vicks VapoRub. There was no congestion for the rest of the day.
What did the computer say to the other after a 16 hour car ride?
"That was a hard drive."
Who should drive home out of the two friends?
The one who is not tired.
I have to pay for a bus ticket?
I guess it's only fare
55. How do you tell a car you are supporting it?
‘We are routing for you!’
Do you know why the U.S. Navy always keeps at least two canaries on board each of their submarines?
Because everyone knows that if you have a big sub you also need a good set of tweeters.
What do you call a perfect submarine?
Sub-optimal.
What should you wear before driving?
The correct gear.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was too tired..
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?
It caused a title wave!
Why did the larger car go first?
It had the right of weigh.
What do you call a guy who only rides children's bicycles?
A pedalphile
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board
Whoops, wrong sub.
I saw a documentary today about a submarine that recycles 87% of its garbage.
But I believe this sub's doing even better!
Why was the bus driver so confused? He was 'bus-t' in traffic!
Did you hear about the submarine industry?
It really took a dive...
How do you sink a submarine full of fools?
You knock on the door.
What is a car’s favourite film?
Taxi.
What do you call a row of 5 tow trucks?
A foot.
Tesla just announced they’ll be including a bottle of their new cologne now with every car sold
It’s called Elon’s Musk
What is the collective noun for cars?
Pack of cars.
Is the city bus running on time? No, it’s running on diesel.
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