What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
Why was the man who hung tennis equipment from his ears arrested?
He was found guilty of racket-ear-ring
I had a jaw-dropping experience.
Sadly, it was radium poisoning.
My wife just now: Do men's ears actually work or are they just for decoration?
Me: 'What?'
I've been trying to sleep with one eye open lately, but it's really hard
Last night I couldn't sleep a wink
Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot!
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
There's a South American country where they have a rare pepper. Instead of being hot when you eat it, it makes your mouth feel cold.
It's called the Chilly Chile Chili.
what does Stalin use to wipe his mouth?
A Soviette.
A person with a very blocked nose walks into a doctors office.
The doctor says: "So, you're having mucus problems?"
The person replies: "perhaps, perhaps snot.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
My friend keeps joking about the thing he has to wear to cover his mouth while he's exercising outside.
It's a running gag.
Some people think it's okay to wear your mask over your mouth while not covering your nose.
They're mouthbreathers.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
Condoms are like ear muffs.
They prevent a lot of noise.
I got some salt in my eye
Now it’s see salt.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
What do you call an eye that can fly?
A real eye soar.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
My mate had an accident and lost his ear. The doctors were able to graft on a new one made of pig skin.
His hearing is now quite fine, but every now and then he gets some crackling.
A nose visited its home town.
It was overcome with nostril-gia.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
What do you get if you cut off Mona Lisa's ears?
MONO LISA.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
One ear of corn says to the other, “I think I have a stalker.”
The other corn replies, “Thats amaizing! Is he cute?” The ear replies, “No, too husky!”
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
What makes your mouth sad?
A tongue depressor.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
I accidentally injured my girlfriend with a mouth organ.
I really didn't mean to harm Monica.
Bad puns are how eye roll.
What did the skeleton say to the French soldier? Bone Jaw
Called in sick to work one day complaining about my eyes.
When they asked what's wrong I said:
“I just can’t see myself coming in to work today.”
I saw my neighbor, slumped over his lawnmower, crying his eyes out.
I think he’s going through a rough patch.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
I told the doctor I was deaf in my left ear he said 'are you sure?'
Then I said 'I'm definite."
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."