My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
My doctor says I should get my ears cleaned every 12 months.
I think he means ear-ly.
Wind carried the sound of two people mocking each other to my ears.
I was in diss-gust.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
What do you call an ear with no eyes
No-eyed ear
The other day someone made fun of my ears for hanging down too far.
Lobe low, dude.
What did the skeleton say to the French soldier? Bone Jaw
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
My wife just now: Do men's ears actually work or are they just for decoration?
Me: 'What?'
Some people think it's okay to wear your mask over your mouth while not covering your nose.
They're mouthbreathers.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
his morning my son said his ear hurt and I asked : on the inside or outside?
So he walks out the front door, comes back in and says "Both."
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
Called in sick to work one day complaining about my eyes.
When they asked what's wrong I said:
“I just can’t see myself coming in to work today.”
As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said
"You know, one would have been enough."
Condoms are like ear muffs.
They prevent a lot of noise.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate his food before it was cool.
One ear of corn says to the other, “I think I have a stalker.”
The other corn replies, “Thats amaizing! Is he cute?” The ear replies, “No, too husky!”
If Colgate kills 99.9% of bacterias in mouth, what does Colgate sensitive do?
It kills 99.9% without hurting their feelings.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
What did Van Gogh name the ear he didn't cut off?
Van Stay.
I saw a movie about a pig with no eyes.
It was PG.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
If a T-Rex slipped and broke its nose would it would need a dinoplasty?
What comes out of your nose at 200 mph?
Lambogreeny.
This eye pun couldn't be any cornea.
I don’t understand why ear biting is a fetish
Almost everyone eats corn.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
What do you call a guy with an ear fetish.
Hard for hearing.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
George Michael once damaged his ears while cleaning them...
Careless Swissper.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye
Turns out she was seeing someone else.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
How many ears does Spok have?
Three. The left ear, the right ear and The Final Frontier.
What is red and not good for your teeth?
A brick.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
My barrista friend turns up her nose at instant coffee.
She's quite sankamonious.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
Did you know Davy Crockett had three ears?
A left ear, a right ear, and a wild frontier.
What do you call Bears without ears
B.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
You know, people say they pick their nose,
but I feel like I just was born with mine.
What do you call a gray animal with big ears and a large trunk?
A traveling mouse.
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
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