How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
Alligators will see you later, crocodiles in a while.
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs.
What kind of money does deer use?
“Bucks!”
If you see a wasp, don't kill it. Let it bee.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
What Do You Call Two Ducks And A Cow?
Quakers and milk.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
What is serial killer Buffalo Bill's favorite fast food restaurant?
Chick Fillet.
What do you call a crocodile that likes to bowl?
An alley-gator!
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
How come Crabs never share with their friends?
Because they're Shellfish.
What happens when an alligator drives a boat?
He becomes a navigator.
Beavers enjoy being in the company of a river because they go with the flow.
What do you call a dinosaur that left its armor out in the rain ? A Stegosau-rust.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
What do you call a dinosaur that's a loud sleeper? A Snore-a-sorus
A beaver's tail makes them look odd.
But without it they would look otter.
What will you get if you cross a tiger and a watchdog? A terrified watchman.
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
How do you apologize to a koala?
Bear your heart and soul to them.
What do you call a lobster that's afraid of tight spaces?
Claw-strophobic
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
What did the deer say to his friend when he suggested a trip to the park? Good i-deer!
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What is one of the big tiger's most favorite hangout places? A shopping maul.
What do mosquitoes and relatives have in common?
They both share your blood.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
If you ever need directions, call for a navi-gator.
What is a deer’s favorite meal?
Deer-ner!
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw?
Because they don’t know how to cook it.
Large, pink birds are a good asset to a football team. They’re very used to playing flamingoalie.
Q: What do tigers and computers have in common?
A: They both have mega bites.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
I goat this.
The phone rings, and a crow picks it only to find out it’s for her husband. She then says: "Hey John, you have a phone caw."
Why don’t alligators watch movies?
Because they live in swamps.
A chap sees a zebra sitting on a seat beside him in the cinema eating popcorn. He says “what are you doing here?” The zebra says, “well, I enjoyed the book”.
Where do kangaroos like to eat?
At IHOP.
Why did the spider crawl up the elephants leg the second time?
It got pissed off the first time.
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
What did the rabbit say to its wife? No bunny compares to you.
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