What was Beethoven’s favourite fruit?
BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA... BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA...
My uncle was crushed by a piano...
His funeral was very low key.
Don't you dare hit that drum again!
If you do, there will be repercussions!
Why shouldn’t you let kids watch big band performances on TV?
Too much sax and violins.
The ad said "Free Violin", but there were strings attached...
What's the definition of a gentleman? One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!
Which music group really embodied the fake it until you make it mantra?
The Pretenders.
What's worse than a SPIDER on your PIANO?
CRAB on your ORGAN.
My priest fired me from playing guitar with the choir.
Apparently it’s blasphemous to play a Gsus2 chord.
Why did the pianist turn around on his way to the grocery store?
He forgot his Chopin Liszt.
C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar.
The bartender says: "Hold it! We don't serve minors here."
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two...
What's brown, lumpy, and sits on a piano bench?
Beethoven's Last Movement
What is Jehovah's witness' favorite band? The Doors.
What music are balloons scared of? Pop music
What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
Something catchy.
What do you call a Pharaoh playing a trumpet?
Tooting’khamun
I saw a Jazz band last night, but they really sucked...
They really saxophoned it in.
When I play my violin it always sounds like it's crying
It's must be too highly strung
Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
The Cuban main violinist's string snapped during a performance. Luckily, he got offered another violin by his American friend.
That day, another Fiddle Catastrophe was prevented.
Which element is a member of famous rock band?
Hg
Someone once asked if I ever played the violin
I told him that I had fiddled with it.
I really like guitars
They just strike a chord with me.
What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music.
How many conductors does it take to change a lightbulb?
Nobody knows because no-one ever watches the conductor.
When did the pianist finally turn their life around?
After they hit Rockbottomoff.
One of my ancestors was once hired by Henry VIII to teach his son to play the trumpet
He was a Tudor tooter tutor.
Silent Violin for Sale
No strings attached.
What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong? King Kong is more sensitive.
Have you heard of the band 1023MB?
They haven't got a gig yet.
Wanna hear a joke about a staccato?
Never mind, it’s too short.
I'm 6'6", 280lb, and I've played piano for 23 years
I'm a huge pianist.
Did you hear the one about the pianist convention?
They had a few keynote speakers
Follow Beethoven's example. People said he was never going to be a musician because he was deaf. Did he listen to them? Of course not.
How many indie musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
It’s an obscure number, you probably haven’t heard it.
What kind of music group only makes songs for exercise programs?
A sweatband.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?
He was playing by ear.
What do you call a cow that plays the violin?
Moozart.
What was the pianist doing at the mall?
Chopin.
Name a rock group where none of the members sings or plays music.
Mt. Rushmore!
All stereos are so typical.
The only difference between a band teacher and a banned teacher
is what they were bangin
Where did the music teacher leave her keys?
In the piano.
What do you call a fishing boat with a great stereo?
bass boat.
Did you hear about the crook who was stealing guitars from classic rock stars?
He was just arrested for Petty theft.
I heard Placebo on the radio. I actually thought it was The Cure.
What did Beethoven say to Johann Sebastian when he was helping him parallel park?
“Bach it up.”
I found this amazing bluegrass band that does covers of 80s rock.
They call themselves Ban Jovi.
Why was the piano laughing?
Because I was tickling his ivories
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