Which band were way ahead of their time in the stage lighting department?
LED Zeppelin.
Whats the difference between and orchestra and a bull? On the bull the horns are in the front and the a***ole is in the back.
What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?
A moo-sician.
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with Linkin Park. But in the end, it doesn't even matter.
The fisherman was playing his out-of-tune guitar.
Luckily he caught a Tuna
I'm 6'6", 280lb, and I've played piano for 23 years
I'm a huge pianist.
If you suck playing the trumpet, that's probably why.
There was a fish who wanted to be a broadcaster...
Until he went on air.
What do you call it when a musical group provides assistance?
Band aid.
What did the drum say about his childhood?
Those were the cymbaler days.
What did Hillary Clinton say when Bill wanted a new Saxophone?
"Not until you get rid of that HarMonica."
How do you fix a broken tuba?
With a tuba glue.
Which element is a member of famous rock band?
Hg
What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
The Cuban main violinist's string snapped during a performance. Luckily, he got offered another violin by his American friend.
That day, another Fiddle Catastrophe was prevented.
Ringo, John snd George walked into an electric guitar shop...
They were less Paul.
What’s the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
One has strings and the other has strangs.
What is the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to plug one of them in before it sucks.
I used to think that all radios had antennae, then I realized it was a stereo type.
What did the upright bass say to the nervous guitar?
“You’re too high strung, don’t fret.”
Why did the burglars decide to rob a music store?
For the lute.
I bought my daughter into a radio...
She's not very e-static about it.
What do call a guitar player without a girlfriend?
Homeless.
Did you hear about the crook who was stealing guitars from classic rock stars?
He was just arrested for Petty theft.
What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong? King Kong is more sensitive.
Silent Violin for Sale
No strings attached.
What do you call a group of orcas that play music?
An iPod.
The only difference between a band teacher and a banned teacher
is what they were bangin
All stereos are so typical.
I tried to play a bass guitar once.
It didn't make much sound, and it slipped out of my hands and swam away.
Want to start a Hula band that covers music by Poison.
Gonna call it Poi, Son.
Being a soprano is a great opera tunity.
Egyptians claimed to have invented the guitar,
But they were such lyres.
Why did the skeleton want to join band?
He wanted a trom-bone!
Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
What do you call it when there are two nuns in a drum circle?
a conundrum
What chord does jesus play on guitar?
Gsus
What do you call a guitar used to play pool?
A cue stick.
My priest fired me from playing guitar with the choir.
Apparently it’s blasphemous to play a Gsus2 chord.
I listenend to the football game on the radio. It was being broadcast on a catholic satellite radio station.
So I tirned to my dad and said, "That's weird. Football isn't even that religious of a sport!"
My dad replied, "Nope. Lacrosse is!"
Don't you dare hit that drum again!
If you do, there will be repercussions!
Where did the music teacher leave her keys?
In the piano.
What concert costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
What concert costs $0.45?
50 Cent with Nickelback.
Why did the Turkey want to join a band?
Because it had drumsticks!
Wanna hear a joke about a staccato?
Never mind, it’s too short.
I slapped my violin out of anger, then I got arrested for domestic violins.
A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff,
Ba-dum-tss
What does Eric Clapton and a cup of coffee have in common? They both suck without Cream.
I don't usually brag about my drum jokes but um...
tss
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