Why aren't high school twins afraid of getting mono?
Because they get stereo instead!
What concert costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
Why did the pianist turn around on his way to the grocery store?
He forgot his Chopin Liszt.
A woman is on trial for beating her significant other with a guitar. “First offender?” the judge asked.
“No” she replied. “First a Gibson , then a Fender”.
Which music group really embodied the fake it until you make it mantra?
The Pretenders.
Being a soprano is a great opera tunity.
I listenend to the football game on the radio. It was being broadcast on a catholic satellite radio station.
So I tirned to my dad and said, "That's weird. Football isn't even that religious of a sport!"
My dad replied, "Nope. Lacrosse is!"
What sound drum set from the junkyard makes?
Ba-dump-tss
What do you call a fishing boat with a great stereo?
bass boat.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
Why didn’t Handel go shopping?
Because he was Baroque.
The police came to arrest me after I tried to play my cat like a violin
They are charging me with Kitty Fiddling.
Why did the jazz musician refuse to be quarantined?
Cause he was an outdoor cat.
How are pirates like trumpets?
They murder the high C’s!
What is a pianist’s favorite cheese ?
Mozzartrella.
Did you know Rolf Harris was a talented violinist as a child?
Yeah, he was a mean kiddie fiddler.
All my neighbours bought the same set of stereos...
When will they stop stereotyping?
Which element is a member of famous rock band?
Hg
I always put my money in drums
Because it’s a sound investment.
A classical musician bought a Stradivari violin
Now he is quite Baroque.
What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?
He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it.
I asked my musician friend if he plays by ear.
He said, "Yes, it's a violin. That is how you hold it."
Why can't redheads be in blues or jazz bands?
They got no soul.
A drummer got a tattoo of a drum kit on himself
It was very cymbalic.
Ringo, John snd George walked into an electric guitar shop...
They were less Paul.
What instrument do English people play?
The Anglo-Saxophone!
How do you trap a drum kit?
Use a snare
Why did the music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes.
My son told me, “The car manual says that I shouldn’t turn up the stereo to full volume.”
I said, “That’s sound advice.”
Me and my friends are in a band called “Duvet”.
We’re a cover band.
Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.
What do you do to a female news anchor who breaks a leg?
You put her in a broadcast.
What did the upright bass say to the nervous guitar?
“You’re too high strung, don’t fret.”
A drum rolled down a hill.
Ba-dum tsssh!
When did the pianist finally turn their life around?
After they hit Rockbottomoff.
I slapped my violin out of anger, then I got arrested for domestic violins.
Did you hear about the new Smashing Pumpkins cover band?
They call themselves Squished Squash!
A friend of mine told me he’d give me a radio that had no batteries. I think it’s a wind-up.
Our church band is just two ladies on percussion...
It’s quite the CoNunDrum
How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They can’t get up that high.
Have you guys heard of the musical group called Cellophane?
They mostly wrap.
What's worse than a SPIDER on your PIANO?
CRAB on your ORGAN.
What do you call it when you spill your drink all over a piano?
Rag time.
My dad just told be a cool joke about drums
I thought I’d snare it with you guys
I bought my daughter into a radio...
She's not very e-static about it.
Why couldn’t the athlete listen to her music?
Because she broke the record.
I really like guitars
They just strike a chord with me.
I'm starting a music group that performs Classical Greek music.
I'm calling it Oedipal Arrangements.
What kind of music are balloons afraid of? Pop Music.
I found this amazing bluegrass band that does covers of 80s rock.
They call themselves Ban Jovi.
Go to BabaMail
