What concert costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
What's an owl's favorite rock band?
The Who
Have you guys heard of the musical group called Cellophane?
They mostly wrap.
How are pirates like trumpets?
They murder the high C’s!
I'm starting a death metal band for people with Celiac's Disease
We're called "Gluten for Punishment."
I should change my name to Billy and get a job as a radio show presenter.
Then I can finally be a Billy-on-air.
I slapped my violin out of anger, then I got arrested for domestic violins.
Did you hear about the conductor who was arrested for inciting violins?
They strung him up, but he didn't fret.
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?
He was playing by ear.
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two...
A piano player got arrested at a wedding...
He was trying to root the relatives.
What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong? King Kong is more sensitive.
What musical group do men join once they get married?
The Hus Band!
What do you call a guitar used to play pool?
A cue stick.
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is happy when the case is closed.
My grandpa left me a violin and an oil painting in his will.
When I took them to be valued, I was told that they were by Van Gogh and Stradivarius. Sadly they were worthless as Van Gogh was rubbish at making violins and Stradivarius was an awful painter.
How did the turkey win the talent show? With his drum-sticks.
A classical musician bought a Stradivari violin
Now he is quite Baroque.
The worst pub I’ve ever been in was called The Fiddle.
It was a vile inn.
What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist’s arm?
A tattoo.
What did the man do when he dropped his violin?
He quartet...
Have you heard about the new band located in the north east of england?
They're called Durham Durham.
A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar.
I replied, “Is that a fret?”
I always put my money in drums
Because it’s a sound investment.
Follow Beethoven's example. People said he was never going to be a musician because he was deaf. Did he listen to them? Of course not.
What chord does jesus play on guitar?
Gsus
What instrument do English people play?
The Anglo-Saxophone!
What genre are national anthems?
Country.
What was stolen from the music store? The lute.
What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower? Vibrato.
My band only plays dog whistles.
You've probably never heard us.
What do you call an 80s synth pop band with a scoop of ice cream? Depeche a la Mode.
What happened when the drummer re-recorded his drum solo?
There were repercussions.
Why can't a Platypus be trusted on the radio?
Because they all have fowl mouths.
What do you call it when you spill your drink all over a piano?
Rag time.
I bought my daughter into a radio...
She's not very e-static about it.
Did you hear about the new Smashing Pumpkins cover band?
They call themselves Squished Squash!
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
What do you call it when there are two nuns in a drum circle?
a conundrum
I was supposed to play the trumpet
But I blew it.
I tried to play a bass guitar once.
It didn't make much sound, and it slipped out of my hands and swam away.
Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.
I don't usually brag about my drum jokes but um...
tss
What is Jehovah's witness' favorite band? The Doors.
Where did the music teacher leave her keys?
In the piano.
What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married?
Feyonce.
If you suck playing the trumpet, that's probably why.
I've started a new band called "Blanket'
We're a cover band
Go to BabaMail
