How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
What does an obstinate piglet always say to his mama?
“Sow what?”
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
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