How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
What does an obstinate piglet always say to his mama?
“Sow what?”
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
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