Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
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