Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
What does an obstinate piglet always say to his mama?
“Sow what?”
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
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