What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
What does an obstinate piglet always say to his mama?
“Sow what?”
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
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