When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
What does an obstinate piglet always say to his mama?
“Sow what?”
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
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