How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
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