What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
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