What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
What do ponies look for in a vehicle?
Lots of horsepower.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
Why did the pony turn himself in?
He felt rem-horse.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
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