What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
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