What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
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