Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft
A Duct-ape.
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