Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
My dog loves designer hand-bags.
So I got him a Poochi.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
What do dog scientists to with their bones?
They barium.
I asked my dog why he was having a bad day.
But all he said was “ruff”.
Why did the dog walk in to the saloon?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw
Mistakes happen.
No need to terrier-self up about it.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
How do fleas get from place to place?
By itch-hiking.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
What do you call dogs that look exactly the same?
Dogglegangers.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it’s a Greyhound.
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates?
K9.
What kind of dog keeps everything they own?
A hoarder collie.
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
What makes more noise than a dog barking outside your window?
Two dogs barking outside your window.
Dog to Waiter: Are there any bones in this?
Waiter to Dog: Yes sir, why’s that?
Dog to Waiter: Because I really dig them!
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
What do dogs have that no other animal has?
Puppies.
Why did the dog go to the bank?
To make a de-paws-it. But unfortunately, there was a mastiff line.
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
What do you call a veterinarian that specializes in canines?
A dogtor.
What happens when you cross an Australian dog and a Beatle?
Dingo Starr.
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
What is a dog’s favorite movie series?
Fifty shades of Greyhound.
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
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