What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
What is a dog’s ideal job?
A barkeologist.
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
What did Shakespeare say when he was angry with his Dalmatian?
Out, out, damned spot.
What did the dog say when he had a bad day?
Today has been ruff.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
What breed of dog always gets cold?
A Bichon Freeze.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
Dog to Waiter: Are there any bones in this?
Waiter to Dog: Yes sir, why’s that?
Dog to Waiter: Because I really dig them!
What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?
A pet-ticoat.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates?
K9.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
What do dogs have that no other animal has?
Puppies.
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
I asked my dog why he was having a bad day.
But all he said was “ruff”.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
Because he couldn’t stop saying “ruff ruff”.
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
What is the poshest breed of dog?
A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
Why did the dog walk in to the saloon?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it’s a Greyhound.
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
What do you call a veterinarian that specializes in canines?
A dogtor.
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
How do fleas get from place to place?
By itch-hiking.
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