My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
What was the puppy's costume for Halloween?
The Big Bad Woof.
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.
Mistakes happen.
No need to terrier-self up about it.
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
What breed of dog always gets cold?
A Bichon Freeze.
The hotel said NO DOGS ALLOWED.
I guess it was a little too paw-sh.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
What is a dog’s favorite movie series?
Fifty shades of Greyhound.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
Dog to Waiter: Are there any bones in this?
Waiter to Dog: Yes sir, why’s that?
Dog to Waiter: Because I really dig them!
What did the dog say when he had a bad day?
Today has been ruff.
What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in a square.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
Because he couldn’t stop saying “ruff ruff”.
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog?
Long time no flea.
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
My dog got a promotion.
She’s now a branch manager.
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
Why did the dog fail his driving test?
Because he couldn’t parallel bark.
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
What do you call a sad pup?
A mellon collie
Where should you never take your dogs shopping?
The flea market.
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