How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
I painted my dog’s nails So he can look paw-ty.
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
Mistakes happen.
No need to terrier-self up about it.
What do you call a sad pup?
A mellon collie
When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it’s a Greyhound.
What do dog scientists to with their bones?
They barium.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
Why did the dog go to the bank?
To make a de-paws-it. But unfortunately, there was a mastiff line.
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
Because he couldn’t stop saying “ruff ruff”.