Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates?
K9.
I nearly kicked my dog out, but we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
The hotel said NO DOGS ALLOWED.
I guess it was a little too paw-sh.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
How do fleas get from place to place?
By itch-hiking.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
I painted my dog’s nails So he can look paw-ty.
What do dog scientists to with their bones?
They barium.
What do you do when your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
My dog loves designer hand-bags.
So I got him a Poochi.
What did Shakespeare say when he was angry with his Dalmatian?
Out, out, damned spot.
What was the puppy's costume for Halloween?
The Big Bad Woof.
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in a square.
My dog is very poor.
He can’t afford a “woof” over his head.
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
What breed of dog always gets cold?
A Bichon Freeze.
Where should you never take your dogs shopping?
The flea market.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
Have you seen the new movie with the Dachshund?
Apparently it’s an Oscar Weiner.
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
What is a dog’s favorite dessert?
Pupcakes.
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
What do you call a veterinarian that specializes in canines?
A dogtor.
What makes more noise than a dog barking outside your window?
Two dogs barking outside your window.
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
What happens when you cross an Australian dog and a Beatle?
Dingo Starr.
What do dogs have that no other animal has?
Puppies.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
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