Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
I went to the Veterinarian today.
She really knew how to make my dog heal.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
Why do dogs hate computers?
They can’t stick their heads out of those Windows.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
Why did the dog go to the bank?
To make a de-paws-it. But unfortunately, there was a mastiff line.
He’s not a bad dog.
He’s just a little ruff around the edges.
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
I nearly kicked my dog out, but we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
Why did the dog walk in to the saloon?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw
My dog got a promotion.
She’s now a branch manager.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
What is the poshest breed of dog?
A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
Why don’t dogs bark at their feet?
It isn’t polite to talk back to your paw.
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
What breed of dog always gets cold?
A Bichon Freeze.
Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
Because he couldn’t stop saying “ruff ruff”.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog?
Long time no flea.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
The hotel said NO DOGS ALLOWED.
I guess it was a little too paw-sh.
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
That was ruff.
What do dogs say when something cool happens?
Paw-some.
What was the puppy's costume for Halloween?
The Big Bad Woof.
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
Dog to Waiter: Are there any bones in this?
Waiter to Dog: Yes sir, why’s that?
Dog to Waiter: Because I really dig them!
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