He’s not a bad dog.
He’s just a little ruff around the edges.
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
Where should you never take your dogs shopping?
The flea market.
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
I painted my dog’s nails So he can look paw-ty.
What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?
A pet-ticoat.
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
What do you do when your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth.
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
How do fleas get from place to place?
By itch-hiking.
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
What did the puppy say to his mum?
I woof you.
Have you seen the new movie with the Dachshund?
Apparently it’s an Oscar Weiner.
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey?
Jack Spaniels.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
My dog loves designer hand-bags.
So I got him a Poochi.
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
Mistakes happen.
No need to terrier-self up about it.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
What is the poshest breed of dog?
A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
What do dog scientists to with their bones?
They barium.
What do dogs say when something cool happens?
Paw-some.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
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