How do you spot a deer behind you? With hind-sight!
Q. What do you call the stench that comes from antlered roadkill?
A. A foul o-deer.
Q. Where can you view sculptures and paintings created by deer?
A. At the art moose-seum.
Q. How do you describe a stinking filthy buck?
A. Deer-ty.
Who puts money under a deer’s pillow when they lose a tooth?
The hoof fairy.
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elka Seltzer.
Did you hear about the generous and kind deer? She had a hart of gold!
What did the deer tell his buddy before he took a test?
“Good buck!”
What does a deer say when it prays to the god?
“Deer God!”
What did Homer Simpson say when he saw a female deer?
“Doe!”
What do you call a deer wearing an explosive vest?
Bombi.
What is the deer’s favorite food group?
“Deer-y products!”
What do we call a deer that wears a mask and refuses to tell its name?
“Anony – moose.”
Q. What did the doe say to the louse on her new baby fawn?
A. Gosh deer nit!
What did the deer say after he finished eating?
“That was deer-licious!”
What did the deer say to his friend during their night in the woods?
This is so much fawn!
What do deer always use to clean their homes?
Comet!
What did the deer say after prancing around a cloning machine for an hour?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
What is the name of Santa’s rudest deer?
Rude-olph.
What is a deer’s favorite after-school snack?
“Doe-nuts.”
What do you think of puns about deer?
“I’m very fawn’d of them myself.”
Q. Which deer prison is escape proof?
A. Elk-atraz.
What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
Where did the deer go to fix its tail?
The re-tail shop.
What did the deer say when her crush told her a joke?
“You are doe funny!”
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
What did the reindeer dad tell his son?
Deer to be different!
How do you let a deer know you like her?
You fawn over her.
Q. How do you start a letter written to Sears Roebuck?
A. Deer Sirs..
What Disney movie can a deer watch over and over again?
Fawn-tasia.
What do you call a deer that can write with both hands?
Bambi-dextrous.
What did the deer order to drink at the bar?
Ice cold deer.
What did the large baby deer say when he met his favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn!”
What did the deer write in his journal every day? Deer diary.
What is a baker’s favorite type of icing?
Fawn-dant.
What’s a buck’s least favorite sandwich bread?
Sour doe.
If you see a deer without antlers acting crazy, don’t eat it without cooking it first.
Everyone knows you can’t eat raw kooky doe.
What was the motto of the unique deer? Deer to be different!
What cheesy dip do deer love to eat?
Fawn-due.
What kind of deer make great weather forecasters?
Rain-deer.
Q. What's on display at the Canadian Moose Museum?
A. Mod deer 'n art.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
What did the disappointed deer say? Oh deer!
Q. What do you get if you cross a deer with an Aussie Joey?
A. A buck-er-roo.
It’s the fawn of a new day! - said the deer happily after waking up.
Q. Where do Midwest does prefer to give birth?
A. Deerborn, Michigan.
How do deer clean their feet?
Hoof paste.
What did the deer say to his friend when he suggested a trip to the park? Good i-deer!
I want to start a deer breeding business…
But first, I’m gonna need about 5,000 bucks.
What kind of money does deer use?
“Bucks!”
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