What does the father deer say to the mother deer to show his love?
“I love you deerly!”
How do deer clean their feet?
Hoof paste.
Q. Where are deceased deer laid to rest?
A. In a moose-oleum.
What is a deer’s favorite meal of the day?
“Deer-ner.”
How do you give a deer a compliment?
“Fawn over him!”
What did the deer order to drink at the bar?
Ice cold deer.
What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
What do you think of puns about deer?
“I’m very fawn’d of them myself.”
Why did the deer go to the spa?
“To doe off some steam!”
What did the deer say when he left the barbershop?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
What did the deer say when she wanted to be left alone?
“Doe away!”
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
What did the deer say to his sulky friend?
“Buck up!”
What did the fawn say to warn her friend about the haunted house?
“Don’t go deer!”
It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
What do you get when you cross a fawn with a bumblebee?
Bambee.
Q. How do you describe the inate behavior of a new mother deer?
A. Doe-ting
Q. Will a sensible stag do something dangerous to impress a doe?
A. No, not even on a deer.
Where do Santa Claus and his deers stop to have a coffee at Christmas?
“Star – Bucks!”
What kind of money does deer use?
“Bucks!”
What is the difference between a deer nut and a beer nut?
“A beer nut is often more than a buck but a deer nut is always under a buck.”
What did the deer say to his funny friend? You’re deer-larious!
Q. Which kind of deer has a serious drinking problem?
A. The elk-oholic.
Q. What is another name for elk diarrhea?
A. Chocolate Moose.
I want to start a deer breeding business…
But first, I’m gonna need about 5,000 bucks.
What do deer always use to clean their homes?
Comet!
What did the baby deer say to his friend?
“I’m so fawn-d of you!”
Why was the teenager deer a bad driver?
He didn’t want to use the deering wheel.
Who puts money under a deer’s pillow when they lose a tooth?
The hoof fairy.
What type of bread do deers enjoy the most?
“Sour-doe!”
Q. What did the mother doe name her new twin babies?
A. Bam B and Bam A.
What did the outraged female deer say to the mule?
How deer you!
What was wrong with the deer’s smile?
He had buck teeth.
What did the deer say to his friend during their night in the woods?
This is so much fawn!
Q. Which doe did all the stags and bucks sing about in the 1960s?
A. Deer Prudence.
What did the deer tell his buddy before he took a test?
“Good buck!”
What did the deer say after he finished eating?
“That was deer-licious!”
Q. How do you describe a deer joke with a screwed up punch line?
A. Bucked up.
What kind of deer make great weather forecasters?
Rain-deer.
What Disney movie can a deer watch over and over again?
Fawn-tasia.
Q. Which Greek eggplant dish do deer really eat up?
A. Moose-aka.
How do you let a deer know you like her?
You fawn over her.
Q. Why was the stag thrown in the army brig?
A. Due to deer-eliction of duty.
Q. What can a buck take after a night of drinking at a stag party?
A. Elk-a-seltzer.
Q. Which deer prison is escape proof?
A. Elk-atraz.
What’s a deer’s go-to ice cream flavor?
Cookie-doe.
What did the disappointed deer say? Oh deer!
Did you hear about the generous and kind deer? She had a hart of gold!
What do we call a deer without any eye?
“No – eye – deer.”
What’s a buck’s least favorite sandwich bread?
Sour doe.
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