What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elka Seltzer.
What do you think of puns about deer?
“I’m very fawn’d of them myself.”
What did the deer say to her daughter?
“Soon you’ll be all doe-n up!”
What is a deer’s favorite meal?
Deer-ner!
Q. What did Ena say after Bambi was killed by a semi truck?
A. He will be dearly missed.
Where do Santa Claus and his deers stop to have a coffee at Christmas?
“Star – Bucks!”
What did the deer’s mother say to her daughter on her birthday?
“I remember the day you were fawn!”
Q. What did they serve with nacho cheese at stag parties?
A. Deer-itos.
What do you call an eyeless deer?
No-eye-deer.
What did the deer say after prancing around a cloning machine for an hour?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
What did the outraged female deer say to the mule?
How deer you!
What’s a deer’s favorite place to get ice cream?
Deery Queen.
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.
Q. Will a sensible stag do something dangerous to impress a doe?
A. No, not even on a deer.
What did the deer say after she saw her Amazon bill?
“I spent too much doe!”
Q. What did the witch get when she crossed a doe with a tornado?
A. A whirling deer-vish.
What did the deer say to his friend when he suggested a trip to the park? Good i-deer!
What do we call a deer without any eye?
“No – eye – deer.”
Where did the deer go to fix its tail?
The re-tail shop.
What did the deer say to his sulky friend?
“Buck up!”
Q. What do you get if you cross a deer with an Aussie Joey?
A. A buck-er-roo.
Q. What does a doe say When something very unexpected happens?
A. Oh, Deer God!
What did the reindeer dad tell his son?
Deer to be different!
Did Rudolph go to school?
No, he was elf taught!
What kind of money does deer use?
“Bucks!”
What do we call a deer that wears a mask and refuses to tell its name?
“Anony – moose.”
What did the deer say to his friend who has slipping down the mountain?
Hang on for deer life!
What kind of deer make great weather forecasters?
Rain-deer.
What does a deer call her boyfriend?
Cari-boo.
Q. What's on display at the Canadian Moose Museum?
A. Mod deer 'n art.
How do you give a deer a compliment?
“Fawn over him!”
What type of bread do deers enjoy the most?
“Sour-doe!”
What did the fawn say to warn her friend about the haunted house?
“Don’t go deer!”
When we cross a deer and a mouse, what would we get?
“Mickey Moose!”
What does a deer call a hunter?
“Doe foes.”
Q. What do biologists call an insane stag that's out running amok?
A. Deer-ranged.
How do deer clean their feet?
Hoof paste.
Q. What is another name for elk diarrhea?
A. Chocolate Moose.
What did the baby deer say to his friend?
“I’m so fawn-d of you!”
Q. Which Louisville race exclusively features buck and stag contestants?
A. The Kentucky Deer-by.
What did the deer write in his journal every day? Deer diary.
What do you call a deer that can write with both hands?
Bambi-dextrous.
Q. How do you describe the inate behavior of a new mother deer?
A. Doe-ting
I want to start a deer breeding business…
But first, I’m gonna need about 5,000 bucks.
What do deer always use to clean their homes?
Comet!
How much does it cost to fly Santa’s sleigh?
About 9 bucks.
Q. What did the mother doe name her new twin babies?
A. Bam B and Bam A.
Q. Which sweet dessert is banned from the menu at the Deer Cafe?
A. Chocolate Moose.
If you see a deer without antlers acting crazy, don’t eat it without cooking it first.
Everyone knows you can’t eat raw kooky doe.
Q. What can a buck take after a night of drinking at a stag party?
A. Elk-a-seltzer.
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