Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
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