Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
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