What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
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