What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
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