Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
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