The tiger ran away from other tigers as they were rude to him. He didn't want to be involved in a catfight.
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
What do you get when a duck bends over?
It’s Buttquack
Picking your favorite snack can be like picking the slowest turtle in the pack.
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
What do you call a greedy ant?
An anteater.
What is a deer’s favorite place to get breakfast?
Dunkin’ Doe-nuts!
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
What’s another popular Christmas song that baby koalas like to sing? “Joey to the World”, of course!
Q. What did Ena say after Bambi was killed by a semi truck?
A. He will be dearly missed.
What do you call a Spanish Goat with no hind legs?
Gracias
How do you give a deer a compliment?
“Fawn over him!”
What does a goat call his girlfriend?
Bae.
What did the goat farmer’s wife say to her husband when he was swearing on the job?
“Not in front of the kids!”
Why does the rabbit bring toilet paper to the party? Because he is a party pooper.
What do a crab, a lobster, and a Japanese guy run over in the middle of the road all have in common?
They're all Crushed-Asians!
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Ears.
Ears who?
Ears one more beaver joke for you.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
What is a Leatherback Sea Turtles favorite sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish.
What did the Easter bunny say about the Easter parade?It was eggs-cellent.
Why don't squirrels wear skinny jeans?
Because their nuts won't fit.
What do you call a fly with no Wings?
A walk.
My friend said, "I bought a parrot for my son that has red and blue feathers."
I said, "Your son must look very strange."
Where do koalas go to settle legal matters? A kangaroo court!
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
My uncles petshop really started doing well when he started selling parrots. They literally flew off the shelves.
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
What did the queen bee say to the naughty bee? Beehive yourself.
What do you say if you meet a toad?
Wart's new?
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
What does a squirrel wear on its feet?
Cashews
Why did the mouse eat a candle? For some light refreshment!
What key has legs and can't open doors? A Turkey.
What do you call an alert ant?
Vigil-ant.
Thinking about selling my crab so i could make money. Then I realised "am I really this shellfish"?
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
Why did the vampire need mouthwash? Because he had bat breath.
How tall is a spider?
Eight foot.
What does a English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning? "Excuse Me... ahem... To be or not to be roasted, that is the question!"
What do rodents say when they play bingo?
‘Eyes down for a full mouse’!
My sister asked me for some spider puns.
I told her to look them up on the web.
What's more amazing than a talking bat? A spelling bee!
What do you get when you cross a tortoise and a llama?
A turtle-neck sweater.
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