Where do you get frog's eggs?
At the spawn shop.
When someone accidentally stepped on his foot, the wolf screamed, Aoooowwwww!
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
Did you hear about the generous and kind deer? She had a hart of gold!
So what did the Mother bee say to her misbehaving bee son
"Beehive!"
A giant fly has attacked the local police...
Police have called SWAT team.
How can you tell if there's a dinosaur in the refrigerator ? The door won't close!
What do you call an ant who likes to be alone?
Independ-ant.
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
What did the bear say when he got a joke? He just bear-ly had a chuckle!
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
A flamingo only ever asks for a plaster when it hurts its pinky.
What do you say when you meet a two-headed dinosaur? Hello, hello!
What do you call a group of lions partying on ships in Gibraltar?
A strait pride parade.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
Why don't crabs give to charity?
Because they're shellfish.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
Which color is a zebra's base color? The debate is endless, and there is no clear answer.
It both is and isn't a black-and-white issue.
Q: Why did the tiger cross the road?
A: To stop the zebra crossing.
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
What type of food do worms like?
Your Halloween Candy!
What do you call a turkey's evil twin?
A Gobblegänger.
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
What do you call a dinosaur that's a noisy sleeper? A Bronto-snorus.
Picking your favorite snack can be like picking the slowest turtle in the pack.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
Why can’t you screw with whales?
because they hump back.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
What did the father buffalo say to his kid when he left for college?
Bi son!
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
I felt so guilty after I stepped on a snail this morning. You should of seen him, he looked genuinely crushed.
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
How do koalas stay in shape? They do bearobics.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
What do dinosaurs put on their pizza? Tomato-saurus
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
What's a shark's favorite hobby?
Anything he can sink his teeth into.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator…
He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender.
The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.”
Someone told me that it takes 5 sheep to make a sweater.
I didn't know they could knit!
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