Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
The wolf crossed the road because it was chasing the chicken.
Why can't you take a turkey to church? They use FOWL language.
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
Where does a camel go after he's eaten his main course? He walks straight to the desert trolley.
Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag? They can lighten your load.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
What happened when a bat misbehaved in night school?
She got suspended.
What do you call a shrimp hit by a car?
Road krill.
What does a English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning? "Excuse Me... ahem... To be or not to be roasted, that is the question!"
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
How many rabbits does it take to change a light bulb? Only one if it hops right to it.
What is the opposite of a flamingo? The answer is, a flaminstop.
Where do rabbits learn how to fly? In the hare force!
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
What our parents tortoise was to be kind to each other.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
What do llamas always say when they introduce themselves?
“Fleeced to meet you.”
What game do little bats like to play?
Batty fight.
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
What do you say if you meet a toad?
Wart's new?
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams? They lived hoppily ever after.
What do you call a smartass bird of prey?
A know it owl.
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
What kind of monkey likes seafood?
A shrimpanzee.
Q. How do does and fawns fly from place to place?
A. In a deer-igible
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
Our flamingo colleague was leaving for a new job recently. We all told him to flamingo for it.
I started dating a girl I really like. She's really into bees.
I think she's a keeper
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
What does a bankrupt frog say?
Baroke, baroke, baroke.
I don’t know why everyone is so upset about untraditional family structures, it’s been happening in the animal world for years. For example, all water buffalos have three parents.
One oxygen buffalo and two hydrogen buffalos.
What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak?
Morse toad.
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
What does a frog order in Mcdonald's?
French flies and a diet croak.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell?
An alarm cluck.
A Zebra said to a Lion “Let’s swap roles for a while."
The Lion said “ I’m game!”.
What is a deer’s favorite after-school snack?
“Doe-nuts.”
How do venomous snakes kill their prey?
In cold blood.
Q. After the stripper is done, what happens at a stag party?
A. Deer-ty dancing.
How will a crow with a cold fever sound like? Caw-ph, Caw-ph.
What has four legs, four eyes, and a net? Four pirates looking for a lost parrot!