What do you call a turtle who takes up photography?
A snapping turtle.
Young goats should be careful when they're out and and about and shouldn't jump into a stranger's car.
That's how you get kidnapped.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
I stole seven crows yesterday.
Got away with murder.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultry-geist.
What did the goat say when he woke up on a train?
I have no idea how I goat here.
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
How do you draw flies?
With a pencil!
What is the most affordable type of meat that we would purchase?
“Dear balls because they are always under a buck.”
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
What do you call a Triceratops who scores his first goal? Dino- score!
What was wrong with the deer’s smile?
He had buck teeth.
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
The good pony apologized to the tiger at the zoo for his sore throat, he said: "I am sorry, I am a little horse."
What did the baby mosquito say after his first flight?
“Mama, mama! Did you see that? Everyone was clapping for me!”
What do get if you cross a duck and Santa?
A Christmas Quacker.
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Hisstory.
What do you call a tiger who always gets the same grades as one other person? A tie-ger.
Where do crows try their luck?
Ma-cau
Did you hear about the generous and kind deer? She had a hart of gold!
Why was the conservative buffalo disappointed in his child?
He was a bison.
Did you hear about the croc and rooster that had a kid together?
It was a crocadoodledoo.
What has four legs, four eyes, and a net? Four pirates looking for a lost parrot!
Why did the spider crawl up the elephants leg the second time?
It got pissed off the first time.
How does a dolphin do cocaine?
With its blow hole.
What do you call an important English snake?
Sir Pent.
What is a baker’s favorite type of icing?
Fawn-dant.
Did you know that camels can last longer without water than se*?
They can go three weeks without water, but can't go a day without a hump.
What did the tiger say to her cub on his birthday?
It’s roar birthday!
What sport do wasps love?
Sting-pong.
What do whales like to chew?
Blubber gum.
How do bats line up in school?
In alpha-bat-ical order.
What do dolphins need to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea!
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
Where do otters keep their money? In the river bank!
What do you call a frog hanging from the ceiling at Christmas?
Mistletoad.
If flamingos can’t fly, how on earth do they get about? They use flamingo karts, of course.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
My uncles petshop really started doing well when he started selling parrots. They literally flew off the shelves.
What do you call an owl who knows how to do magic tricks?
Hoodini.
What's gray and furry on the inside and white on the outside? A mouse sandwich!
Her: "Buffalo meat is delicious. What are they made of? Beef?"
Me: "No... They're made of buff."
Did Rudolph go to school?
No, he was elf taught!
What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
People always talk about the 'Eye Of The Tiger'. No one talks about the other four letters.
What does the mummy parrot say to her baby? Beak-areful!
Go to BabaMail
