I’ll have a crocodile sandwich please, and make it snappy!
Who is a snake’s favorite author?
William Snakespeare.
What did the woodworm say to the chair?
It's been nice gnawing you.
What do you call a camel without humps?
Humphrey.
When does a bat go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
What did the llama say when the other llama asked if they wanted to go on holiday?
Alpaca suitcase.
What do you call a frog with no back legs?
Unhoppy.
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
A baboom.
What do dog scientists to with their bones?
They barium.
What do frogs drink?
Croak-a-cola.
I like dillos, but do not support giving them guns.
I would never armadillo.
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
Where does a rottweiler sit in the cinema?
Anywhere it wants to.
I don't agree with battery hens.
Surely they'd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
What do you call the worlds tallest mosquito?
Himalarya.
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs.
Alligators ask lots of questions, they'd make great interri-gators.
What do the squirrels do when they are bored ?
watch NutFlix
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside
What does a panda use to cook his pancakes?
A pan duhhhh!
What does an obstinate piglet always say to his mama?
“Sow what?”
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
A werewolf that is confused on what to wear is not a dumb one, instead it is a what-to-wear-wolf.
How do bats greet a friend?
With a sound wave.
here do lobsters go to borrow money? The prawn broker.
Why did the worm cross the playground?
To get to the underground slide!
What do you call an turkey with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
Who’s a llama’s favorite composer?
Wolfgang Llamadeus Mozart.
A woman bought a rooster, wanting to hear it crow.
However, it turns out the rooster was mute, so she was out of cluck.
These ideas are too shellow, they won’t be of any help.
What did the owl say to the judge?
I’m talon you, it wasn’t me.
Why are goats from France musical?
Because they have French horns.
Why did the viper, viper nose?
Because the adder, adder hankerchief.
What do you call for injured ants?
The ant-bulance.
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
The public investigated a box full of crows because it was a murder case.
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
How can you tell if there's a dinosaur in the refrigerator ? The door won't close!
What's a frog's favorite game?
Croak-et.
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