What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
An army of werewolves is known as a Fur-eign Legion.
What do you call two rabbits racing down the road? The fast and the furriest.
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Why did the bat break up with her girlfriend?
She thought she was a pain in the neck.
Rabbits are trying to eat away my old Toyota!
Mechanic said it could be car rot.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
Why shouldn’t you shoot an alligator?
He’ll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
Did you hear about the bird that couldn’t pass environmental legislation?
He was a lame duck.
Our local winery recently starting using a flock of sheep to keep the grass from getting too long.
At least that's what I herd through the grapevine.
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
How do you apologize to a koala? BEAR your heart and soul.
People in Iran are scared of spiders
But in Iraq, no phobia.
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
Did you hear about the doctor who was practicing bee venom therapy without a license?
He was arrested in a sting operation.
Why did the man wear a rabbit as a hat? He didn’t want anyone to harm a Hare on his head!
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
What did one beaver say to the other at the river? Dam it.
Why did Jesus ask Judas to crave the turkey?
Beause he knows he likes stabbing others in the back.
Q. Which game do hunters go after first?
A. The nearest and the deerest.
Coming to Theaters: The thrilling tale of a man who cooked biographical books like turkey on Thanksgiving.
*Baste on a True Story...*
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
What will you get if you cross an ice bear and a running tiger? Frostbite.
What do you get if you cross a giraffe and a hedgehog?
An extra long toilet brush.
What did a duck say to the comedian?
You quack me up.
What breed of dog always gets cold?
A Bichon Freeze.
Why don’t alligators watch movies?
Because they live in swamps.
What do you get if you cross a frog with a ferry?
A hoppercraft.
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat?
A dirty kid!
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
If a lion is the king of the jungle...
Then shouldn’t they call it a reignforest?
What do you call a kangaroo that asks for seconds on ramen?
A more-soupial
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
The inventor of mosquito repellent likely did not know where to begin...
I guess he would have to start from scratch.
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
Why did the cranberries turn red?
They saw the turkey dressing!
Why do pandas have fur coats?
Because they’d look stupid in denim jackets.
What’s the great white shark’s favorite candy?
Jaw-Breakers.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
Why did the bunny build herself a new house? She was fed up with the hole thing!
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
What do stylish kangaroos wear?
Jumpsuits.
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
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