What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a Spider? A Hare net!
My friend uses a white crow to protect his farm from other crows
He calls it a rarecrow
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
I had a bet on a giraffe race yesterday but my selection lost.
It was nowhere near winning – it lost by a neck.
What did Detective Duck say to his partner?
“Let’s quack this case.”
How do you know you have a tape worm?
It’s comming out of your belly!
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
The only things wolves have that no other animal on the face of the earth has are wolf cubs.
Which dinosaurs were the best policemen? Tricera-cops.
What do you call a poor ant?
A peas-ant.
Why did the owl 'owl?
Because the Woodpecker would peck 'er.
How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog?
A croaker spaniel.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
I met this really beautiful crustacean, but I lobst her number.
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
What sound does a space turkey make? Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!
What did the tiger say to her cub on his birthday?
It’s roar birthday!
What Do You Call A Duck That Steals?
A robber ducky.
What do you call a baby monkey?
A chimp off the old block.
What did the baby rabbit say before his favorite holiday? I carrot wait for the Easter Bunny to visit.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
My flamingo friends are always making me pay for dinner. I find that they can be real cheepskates.
What is the favorite bread of a crow? Crow-issant.
Today I went to the bee store
And I wanted 12 bee's but when I checked out the cashier gave me 13 and I asked him why he gave me 13 instead of 12 and he said it was a free bee.
What does Spider-man become when he joins the circus?
an aracnobat.
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
Q. How do you start a letter written to Sears Roebuck?
A. Deer Sirs..
Someone told me that it takes 5 sheep to make a sweater.
I didn't know they could knit!
What do you call an outlaw goat?
Billy the Kid.
Have you seen my lobster?
I'm worried he might by a lost claws.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
Why do chickens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they’d break.
Where do rabbits work? At IHOP restaurants!
What do you call a nervous baby ant?
A little antsy.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
Tigers are probably the most roarsome animal ever created!
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
What do you get when a dinosaur walks through the strawberry patch? Strawberry jam.
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
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